Updated: Jan 15, 2019
When friends or coworkers find out I’m “Christian”, they almost always have two automatic responses: first, “I didn’t know you were religious?” and second, “Why are you a Christian?”
Good question. So, why Christianity?
Why not Buddhism? Or Hinduism? Or Islam? Or… nothing? Why not accept agnosticism, or atheism, or humanism, or anything else that could just as easily help make sense of the world? Perhaps that’s all faith (non-faith) is: a coping mechanism for making meaning of our suffering.
Or… is it Other? Is it possible that art, music, love, and other transcendent experiences help us scratch at the veil, but faith helps us see beyond it? [Tweet this]. Simply put: I believe in the Divine because I have had a few of these life-changing experiences.
Today, I would like to share one of them with you.
Once, while I was on a mission trip doing anti-sex trafficking work in Moldova, I had a dream. It happened while I was sleeping in the basement of a “safe home” we were staying at, and I dreamt of the sea.
The sun was setting behind the crashing, ocean waves, which grew ferocious by the second. A red hue spider-webbed across the dark clouds rolling in, and I could feel myself being drawn toward the beauty and chaos. That’s when I heard the music. As I moved over the waters, the notes started softly at first and then grew into an ethereal, heart-rending song.
The compilation of light and dark, majesty and turmoil, made my heart burst and I began to weep.
“I wish someone was here to see this with me,” I thought, and instantly realized how empty my words felt. “I wish someone knew who I was—here, in this moment—who understands me at my core. Someone who doesn’t just see this view with me, but truly knows the heart and thoughts within me.”
That’s when I heard God’s voice: “Micah, you are always looking for someone to know who you are, to know your story,” he said. “I want you to know that I. Know. You.”
Suddenly, I felt a rush of energy fill my body. It felt like breathing for the first time, like I was utterly possessed by the source of the universe. I could sense the outline of a person, of Christ, on the inside of my body, his eyes looking through my own.
Then, he whispered through me, “This is all I have ever wanted.”
At that instant, I understood it all. Ever since the dawn of time, God has wanted to see and experience life—our lives, as people—as his creation. John 17:23 suddenly made sense to me: “I in them and You in Me—that they may be perfectly united, so that the world may know that You sent Me and have loved them just as You have loved Me.”
Here’s the critical part.
At the end of my dream, I heard God say, “My church squabbles and fights over different issues.”
I saw flashes in my mind’s eye, like movie scenes, showing images of churches protesting same-sex marriage, arguing over money/wealth, and on and on the images scrolled.
He continued: “If they truly understood my love, they would know that what I care about most is this moment, when they say yes to me.”
I woke back up in Moldova. Warm tears were streaming down my cheeks; I had been crying in my sleep. As I lay upright in the small bed, all I could think about were the images of the ocean, the transcendent music, the sound of Yeshua’s voice, and his final words to me:
“What I care about most is this moment, when they say yes to me.”
Sure, it could have been something I ate, or just a really vivid dream built from my subconscious, but either way, I knew I would never be the same after that night. There are days when I feel like I could sneeze and become an atheist, but it’s because of experiences like this one that I'm drawn back toward the Creator, toward the Divine, toward the Mystery-Of-It-All.
At the end of the day, I believe in God because I have experienced him through Christ. His story of grace, and the constant pursuit of the human heart, is why I am a “follower of the Cosmic Christ.” But here’s where mysticism is key. If we truly believe there is an ultimate force/energy holding this universe together, and we call it “God,” we must also believe that He/She/It is far bigger and more expansive than we could ever hope to understand. [Tweet this].
The Cosmic Christ that I serve is larger than life and cannot be put into a box. More importantly, I believe this good God is drawing all people to Him/Her/Itself.
So that we all may be one.